I lost my soul

I lost my soul

The cold winter not only stole the breath of cherry blossom but also left me fragile and vulnerable but you were warmer than the sunshine, so I hold you in the cold winter night and the love inside your eyes turned my cloudy day to sunshine. 
 
I wonder,
If this fragile voice,
Escaping all its bounds in me,
Traversing the very air you breathe,
Shall make your withering buds bloom again,
Like the cherry blossoms,
Under the clouds of the blue sky,
Awaiting a spring lost amidst the sun,
I wonder, 
If your buds do bloom,
Will you see me then?
Will you then, hear this silent voice?

The cold December night, you made me fall for your innocent eyes, your gentle touch, and your warmth, I reminisce this warmth and close my eyelids softly, I still remember you as clear as day. Closing the door of our room, I said goodbye to the memories since then, it has been a year and a half. I wanted to walk behind you. If only I could turn back time, I'd never let you go. I never realized that no matter how much I love you, you're not coming back again. I miss you, I really miss you, Bambi.

Your footsteps are pounding like echoes when you came to wake me up, your shadows surround me and swallow the color of my dream, the space in my bed reminds me that you're gone. It's awful that you're not coming back again but I still love you and I cannot forget our memories, I cannot leave anything behind, this weak miserable self, I hate my pathetic self. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you and for letting you go. I will always cherish you and the love we shared. 

Whenever I miss you, I go through our old albums and smile like an idiot, watch our TikTok. If I could turn back time, I'd keep reliving the days we were together and happy. To the world, you might only be a dog but Heaven knows how precious you are to me. The apple of my eye, peanut butter to my jelly. 

Your eyes look at me like they know all about me. Even though I try to leave, I am tied by our memories. Even though we aren't in the same place and you can't see me as the passing wind, my heart and I am there for you.

I think the hardest part of losing a dog you love isn't having to say goodbye but the way your entire world changes without them and the emptiness that's left in your heart when they go. I lost my Bambi, my soulmate, my brother and I can never replace him with any other pet. Bambi will always be my last first pet.

Comments

  1. UnknownApril 8, 2020 at 6:25 AM

    Keep it up

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bibek Chandra MahasethAugust 21, 2020 at 7:48 PM

    Soulfull writing, I could just feel the relationship with your Pet, Bambi. I started missing Jiggi, My Only Pet I had. Keep Writing. Best wishes.

    ReplyDelete

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